The Mask Dance

THE MASK DANCE – A rant for the time of Coronavirus
(Subtitled ‘nobody knows WTF they’re doing but everyone’s an authority’)

Wear a mask, it protects you from disease and protects others if you are infectious.

Don’t wear a mask, we don’t have enough so you can’t have them, only hospital workers can. So we’ll tell you they’re not necessary so you won’t panic.

Masks make the spread worse, giving a false sense of security.

Masks make you touch your face more, increasing the spread.

Masks protect you, we should all wear them.

Only large droplets spread the virus and masks don’t stop them anyway.

Oh, now we’ve decided small droplets carry it too so wear a mask.

Paper masks are ineffective.

Cloth masks are better.

No they’re not. They don’t work.

People might wear their mask for days and days and then it’ll be infectious. So better not to wear one.

Only frontline workers need masks and you are depriving them by using scant supplies, you selfish jerk.

Media: look at these nice people making masks for their communities!

Other media: These people are killing people with their homemade masks!

USA : You don’t need masks, stop catastrophising!

USA one week later: We should all wear masks. The virus spreads by talking and breathing.

Australia two days ago: Masks are a good idea, they certainly can’t hurt.

Australia yesterday: No, we shouldn’t wear masks, they’re not needed at this time.

WHO: we don’t need masks.

WHO: No, wait, we’ve changed our minds, now we do.

CDC: ditto.

Is anyone else completely over this ridiculous discourse?

You can exercise. But you can’t sit on a bench for a breather.
Because then EVERYONE will want to sit on a bench!

You can go to the beach if you social distance.
No you can’t. Because then EVERYONE will want to go to the beach.

Kids are safe at school with 30 other kids.
Kids aren’t safe anywhere else there are 30 other kids.
But they’re safe at school!
We have no masks, soap or sanitiser.
But wear masks and wash your hands, kids!
What are you silly teachers worried about?

Etcetera, ad infinitum.

Madness. Total madness. I’m lying down and reading a book.
And perhaps make another music video to share with friends.

A bit of clarity and leadership would be nice, wouldn’t it?
Dream on!


Wear an effing mask!
(Except I’m never going out EVER AGAIN!)
Read a book.
Read another book
Delete Instagram.
Leave Facebook groups that have turned wacky.
Block people blathering about Agenda 21.
Do yoga.
Play music.
Film yourself playing music and share.
Watch other people’s music videos.
Do some more yoga.

the house.
Read another book.
Play with the pets.
Avoid the ‘news’.
Support friends who are stressing.
Cook pizza.  Cook more pizza.
Plant seedlings.

Accept that the whole world’s gone mad.
Stay home and avoid it all.
Wait for Zombie apocalypse.


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